I've thrown in the towel with sewing. I suppose that I got out much of my need or desire to sew during the summer. I've lost a lot of my momentum coming up with ideas of what to make, how to make it, cutting and pinning the material, not to mention the actual art of sewing while wiping snotty noses, wiping a 4 year olds rear end after he poops, washing hands, drinking coffee (because we all know I'm not sleeping through the night yet and any bit of caffeine helps me so much!), stepping on toys, watching my son's planes taking off and landing on our carpet "runway", and taking him to school three times a week...gee whiz that just make my head spin! No wonder I can't come up with anything creative to do on my machine.
Speaking of trying to be creative, I have made a few new scrapbook pages but I have no desire whatsoever to try to post the end results. I guess my thinking is that why would anyone want to see my page layouts? They certainly aren't anything to write home about!!! I'm not asking for a pity party. I guess I started off with this blog posting the scrapbook pages as a means of me to get it done. It gave me a goal. But I'm just not feeling it right now. Maybe later.
WOW started back up last week and I'm looking forward to the group I'll be in this year. We'll be reading a book entitled "Every Thought Captive: Battling the Toxic Beliefs That Separate Us from the Life We Crave" and so far it looks really interesting. I think it's really good timing too. The past few days have been a little hard for me. I've been having lots and lots of thought swirling around in my head like "I'm not good enough," "I'm not that great of a friend," "I could be a better mother/wife/person and why am I not trying?" I don't want anyone worrying about me...I'm fine but just a little bit worn out. And I want to be honest and up front about my feelings and not act as if I'm always happy or upbeat all the time. That's not life.
A little over a year ago I stumbled upon a blog of a person I didn't know at all but have come to really admire her. Amy Wilhoite was diagnosed with AML or Acute Myelogenous Leukemia and was blogging about her struggle with day to day life, with treatments, living and even with her own death. She lost her fight against leukemia last week and I felt so bad all week long. She was only married for four years and had a one year old little boy. It made me want to hold onto my little ones a little bit longer. If any of you have the chance to look through her posts, I promise you it will change you. It might take a while if you start from the beginning, but well worth your time. I have to admire her. She always looked to God and was ready to meet her maker. I'm sure she had quite the homecoming last Monday. This is from her very first post:
I wholly believe my journey through leukemia began from the foundations of the earth. The Lord has had this fully written in His plan for my life. Though we will never know the exact moment a single cell of my DNA acquired a problem, the doctors feel my body has been under attack for months. As I look back, I see the many ways God has been preparing us for this -- He has truly gone before, and for that I must be grateful.And so my day today begins...lots to do around the house - laundry, cleaning, keeping the boys entertained, outings, and whatever we can fit in! Tonight I will be going to Jonah's "Back to School Night" and I'm not sure what all I'll find out since I didn't go for the previous two years, but I'm looking forward to spending time with his teachers and finding out just what he does in class. Whenever I ask him he simply says that he played and he can't remember the other things he did in school! I laugh. I know he is having fun and making new friends.